I’ve always believed that you can be friendly and loving to your kids, but not necessarily their friend … and that there would always be a fine line between being a parent and a friend with my kids. This maybe an old school way of thinking, I know. But I never expected my teenage kids to decline my offer to be their friend on Facebook.
For some reason they think Facebook is not for parents, and that it is for singles and, specifically, the Generation Y. That isn’t true! I have been able to connect and, in some cases, reconnect with a lot of people I work with, high-school classmates, and other acquaintances that I have not spoken to in years. More importantly, why would my kids not want me to be their friend? What’s on their Facebook pages that my eyes cannot be privy to?
Should I mandate that we must be friends? Or does this fit the principle that I am their parent, not their friend? Thoughts?
Becky says:
July 16, 2009 at 7:11 am
I am Facebook friends w/my two eldest daughters. I would have been disappointed had they declined me. It would also have made me suspicious.
If they’re living under your roof, the Golden Rule applies – “He who has the gold makes the rule.”
Lisa says:
July 29, 2009 at 7:10 am
I’ve heard parents have made a pact w/their kids: they must be “friends” w/their parents, but the parents promise to NEVER comment on their wall publicly. This to a kid is the epitome of Un-cool-ness and social death. So I would tell them that in order to be allowed to FB or MySpace, that they must allow their parents to be on their friends list.
Sue says:
July 29, 2009 at 6:00 pm
Facebook provides an excellent way of keeping up with far flung family, but when the family is still living with you it can get very tricky. Getting engaged in your childrens’ social media is a sticky wicket – are you really a Friend or are you a monitor? My whole family is on Facebook; the parents, grandparents, kids and grandkids. It’s great to get real time updates on what everyone is up to, and it let’s me be in a community with my kids that we can share.
Sandra says:
July 31, 2009 at 7:27 am
I think on some level it could be crossing the line between parent and friend. However, if you trust your children, you need to allow them their space. Make sure to discuss any possible dangers or boundaries and let them have something of their own.
Carri says:
July 31, 2009 at 1:03 pm
My daughter has both, and while we aren’t “friends” .. I do have the passwords. It is understood, that I as her parent, am allowed to check up on what is being said and who is saying what. It is also understood, I dont abuse my power and she does nothing to make me abuse that power.
Betsy says:
August 3, 2009 at 3:05 pm
Priscilla, I allowed Joey to get a Facebook page with the condition that he add me as a friend. However, the promise I made to him is to not post on his page unless I tag him in a non embarrassing picture.
Joyce says:
October 9, 2009 at 2:45 pm
I have 2 college age girls. When I started using Facebook, they stopped using it! Facebook was once reserved for only college students. When they starting allowing others to join, many young adults stopped using it. Because of their ages, I never requested to be their friend because I trusted them. However, my 12 yr old son has a facebook page. The younger age makes a big difference. Though I am not his friend, I make periodic checks (he logs in) on his facebook page.